First Thoughts On A New World

Artwork

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Background

I’ve always thought of music like a photo album. When I hear songs, I don’t just hear music, I am transported back to another time, when the songs I am hearing meant the most to me.
 
That might explain why these 8 songs took 10 years to record.
 
All written around October 2005, this album describes a time which now feels like a different reality. Loss, pain, fear, anger but somehow a massive sense of joy. These are my First Thoughts On A New World. A world that for a while had no centre, no purpose, and no meaning. But a world I know now how lucky I was to have been part of. A world that only felt so empty because of how full it was before.
 
They tracks are raw. I’ve not diluted them. This is it. Me laid bare at my most vulnerable. They’re as tough for me to listen to now as they were when I first wrote them. More memories flood back when I listen to these than I can get from any photograph. It’s scary when you let what’s inside out, and it has taken 10 years to truly face up to what I’ve written.
 
They’re not perfect, not polished. I’ve recorded and mixed every single thing you hear. But they are the best I can make them, nothing else would have felt right.
 
I’m sharing them as a legacy to one of the most amazing people to ever have set foot in this world. I hope people take these songs for what they are. Yes there is grief, yes there is sadness, but without that there would not have been honesty. I really hope amongst that you can find the important stuff. The feelings and tributes to a truly beautiful girl. The bright sunshine that came before the sunset.
 
Looking back 10 years later, the sadness has nearly gone, replaced with an overwhelming gratitude for the 6 months of joy I got to spend with my beautiful butterfly.
 
I know you’re listening somewhere, somehow.
 
Time passes, but memories will never fade. You live on in all of us every day. Thanks for all the laughter, all the joy, and for the greatest summer of my life.

Track List

Where To Find It

I also have some physical copies on CD. If you would like one then send me an e-mail and I will send it out.

Lyrics

1) FIRST THOUGHTS

Here I bring, here I bring to you,
My first thoughts on a new world.
I’ve tried not to make them too dark or too angry,
But reality has taken its toll.
It’s difficult, to summarise a life,
Or the situation we find ourselves in.
So many people asking us questions,
So many answers that will never quite fit.

She was honest, she was daring.
She was crazy, she was sunshine, she was light.
She was fragile, she was caring, full of fun,
A radiant light.

Here I bring, here I bring to you.
My first thoughts on a war with no peace.
It drips like a tap in the night over and over,
Sends you screaming when you’re expecting it least.
But it’s hard to look back, without a smile on your face.
Even though the pain is so raw.
Any you know, even after all that’s gone.
She wouldn’t want you crying at all.

She was honest, she was daring,
She was crazy, she was sunshine, she was light (but a bright light has gone out).
She was a hundred miles an hour, rushing round,
An irrepressible light (but a bright light has gone out).
She was fragile, she was caring,
Full of fun a radiant light (but a bright light has gone out),
She was honest, she was daring,
Crazy and sunshine and light (but a bright light has gone out).
She was a hundred miles an hour, rushing round,
An irrepressible light (but a bright light has gone out).
She was fragile, she was caring,
full of fun a radiant light.

Bright light, my little bright light, she gone out, gone away
My bright light gone, my little bright light, my bright light gone away.

2) RUN

I’d run through the streets just because I could,
Everything’s good once in a while.
I’d run and run and run so fast,
Run like it was going out of style.
I got promoted at work, got out of school,
Had a girl I could call my friend.
Things were gonna turn out right,
Just as long as this didn’t end

But my baby she left me late last night,
I didn’t think today would change it all.
My baby she left me late last night,
Funny how sometimes life makes you feel so small.
And it haunts me playing that scene in my head,
Like someone else’s memories.
I see myself running down that road,
The road to the end of my world.

It all went wrong today,
I was drawn to where you lie.
So I jumped in my death machine,
And came to be my your side.
I got out at the other end,
Threw on my coat,
The weather’s really starting to turn.
Lit up another cigarette,
And watched the fiery embers start to burn.

Took another drag as I opened the gates,
To the garden of sleeping lights.
In the mini Manhattan of broken dreams,
And endless lonseome nights.
I walk round the path again,
To face my biggest fear.
I never thought I’d be doing this,
And tears are cold at this time of year.

3) I Don’t Know If It’s True What They Say

I don’t know if it’s true what they say,
The girl with the auburn hairs gone away.
And now’s the time for feeling down,
Not sure anything’ll bring me around.
Staring off down the road,
No where to go.
Spent alot of time by myself,
But I’ve never felt this alone.

So how’s that for a slap in the face?
They arrested me and they took me away.
And fed me some bullshit and some lies.
I swear I wasn’t near her when she died.

I don’t know if it’s true what they say,
They say the girl with the auburn hair’s gone away.
I don’t really wanna believe it yet,
I’m sure it’ll hit me some time soon.
They pay a man for me to talk to,
But most nights I just don’t go.
He ain’t been through this,
He can’t tell me what I already know.

So how’s that for a slap in the face?
She’s gone and no one will ever replace.
My Lizzie, my beautiful butterfly.
I wish I’d gone and you’d survived.

Lizzie my beautiful butterfly.
You’re the best thing to ever happen to my life.

4) Nothing Last Forever

Nothing last forever, no matter how much you want it to.
Nothing last forever, no matter how much you want it to.
I don’t have no morbid fascination with life.
It’s just like sometimes the days run you by,
Them lows replace the highs.
Six months round here now she’s gone.

Nothing last forever, no matter how much you want it to.
Nothing last forever, no matter how much you want it to.
I don’t know why you had to leave us so soon.
But one thing remains the same, you’ll live on.
Forever in our hearts.
I’ll see you again someday on the other side.

5) Butterfly

My butterfly she flew away.
Must have been somewhere else she had to be.
I still see her round here from time to time,
She’s just around watching over me.
She’s just around watching over me.

Singing fly.
Fly away my butterfly.

My summer of love was a such  a beautiful thing
It came out of nowhere then drew me right in
I met my butterfly and we moved so fast
My life was making sense at last
 
She picked me up, shook me up, took me right in,
I didn’t really know if I was coming or going.
A red haired blur, she planned it all out,
from the minute we met I was in no doubt .
Two minutes in, let’s go away,
Spend a little time in Austr-i-a. 
Biggest family in the world, days at the farm,
Trying to stop your grandad coming to harm.
I miss your smile the glow you cast,
But I still can’t face any photographs.
Wherever you are I hope you’re fine,
Stay with me butterfly.

My butterfly she flew away.
Must have been about her time to go.
Gone but not forgotten though,
She’ll live on inside of us.
She’ll live on inside of us.

Singing fly.
Fly away my butterfly.

6) If I Had My Way

Just tell me, just tell me how all this is fair.
Tell me when I can see you again, tell me, I’ll be there
Wipe the tears from my eyes, I can almost see your face.
Wipe the memories from my head, lost my mind without a trace
 
Just trying, just trying to remove my mind from doubt.
Bring me home now, bring me home now honey I’ll try and figure this all out.
The the rest off of the ship, let the fuckers drown.
We’re going to get through this together, keep our heads up, don’t make a sound
 
If I had my way, I’d never get over you
But as things stand right now,
I don’t really have a choice
Throw the rest off of the ship, let the fuckers drown.
I’m going to get through this alone, keep my head down, don’t make a sound
 
7) Round Here Like You
 
I dig out the old guitar.
And do things the same way,
Same time every day.
You drive in from afar,
And do things a different way,
A different time every day.

So baby just hold me, because I don’t know who to trust.
Show me ’cause I don’t know how to love.
Just heal me ’cause I don’t know what to do.
One thing remains the same,
There’s never been anyone,
Round here like you.

You’ll come rushing round.
Big smile on your face,
Just like there always is.
And I’ll come running down.
And we’ll go out alright,
Different place every night.

So baby just hold me, because I don’t know who to trust.
Show me ’cause I’ve forgotten how to love.
Just heal me ’cause I don’t know what to do.
One thing remains the same,
There’s never been anyone,
Round here like you.

8) Rest Light My Lizzie (Tangled Memories)

You were my saviour, you were my light.
And you meant everything,
You meant everything to me.

You kept me smiling, smile every day.
There was nothing I could do that night no matter how much I pray.
No matter how much I wish I could.

I’m singing; Rest Light My Lizzie.

My I should never have taken you to that place with me.
Maybe I should have gone alone, who then, who then knows what?
Maybe you’d still be around.

Now I find myself walking down the street, I read the papers in every shop.
So hard to see your face, and everyone’s got tears in their eyes.
And now even the sky is crying.

I’m singing; Rest Light My Lizzie.

They tried to blame me, they tried to say.
That I was the one that it was me, that I took your life away.
In who’s world is that true?

I remember the day you died, runs through me every day.
I picked you up from work you changed in the car and then we went.
We went, but you never came home.

I’m singing; Rest Light My Lizzie.

We were going to build a life together, we were going to blow them all away.
Now it’s just me girl, it’s just me.
And you’re watching from afar.

I used to love that look on your face, when you’d wake up in the morning.
You didn’t really know where you were, you’d look at me and smile.
You’d look at me and I’d be smiling right back.

I dream of you endlessly, I wish for your hand.
I don’t know why and I don’t understand this, I just don’t know.
I just don’t know why you had to go.

I’m singing; Rest Light My Lizzie.